Contradict My Own Paradox

*** CHAPTER ONE ***

Journey of Unrequited Feelings



Just like what had happened,it does hurt when looking someone you like and admired much left just like that and yet the the last word that were planned to be voiced trapped in heart..the last word that spoken was merely nothing but an encouragement that i doesn't wanted to hear..I'm in dilemma,no, it just doesn't seem right.My appearance at the place where just like crushing the gate or an uninvited guest to attend.A pathetic feeling arose within as i feel like alienated though i tried much closer and closer.My thoughts were asking me why sudden change in them,could it be the long holiday or the uncontact words that keep the relationship..yet,today i still ponder with a feeling of dilemma and sigh that i picked up yesterday.



My world and journey...I begin to wonder, a month ago, i started to think..lots of things came in my mind. I hardly interpret what was going on, as journey set itself once again in the institution..I still missed home..I feel i wanted to travel far and explore with all the world;fantasy perhaps that drives me to think this..yet not much that i prepared myself for that.I wanted to do it someday, maybe just dissappeared out of the normal routine scene to look for something that i hope will make me more of understanding in term of the things that I'm trying to look for..as I write this, a song I've listened goes like this"I've been walking in the same way, as i did.. Misssing out the cracks in the pavement..."----I don't know what to do----



I'm thirst of something I'm not sure.I wonder aimless but with hope that lights my way up.

I'm not confused or others where the rest mistakenly view me. I'm a mere traveller in their mind.How much I know and I care..I'm forseen to seek as i already knew the outcome of what they think.I waited long to sieze the day;how many hours that i already hold in my hand. I feel like holding bit pieces of time that i utter myself to skim through what I've done. Minutes of fragmentize particles that enclosed the time lights the way and therefore I move on.Another dimension started to open as new stories or part of a story were waiting for me to enter and explore.What lies next..walls of rainbow coloured lines the surrounding and the entity I'm were seemingly begin to show bits pieces of stuctures that I can't seem with naked eye..could this be.. an Atom!!



The next thing I knew;lots of particles that begin to spread,I feel nothing but the thrill..I'm too scared of what happend next.."you need to have persistance in your decision with confident, don't run away."As I lie down to bed..a friend who sit beside told me so...yes.I've remebered,I was planning to buy some books but I'm still puzzle..the uncertainty that hold everything crushing the every ideas that arose.Ahh..In the end, I did what i want.Later on we waited for bus..patient are needed, every cover of peole sitting in bench or standing were waiting for something. A destination they want and they take their chances of this time and went on waiting...I was again..dive in the time..not sure of what happened next.All I know, a story awaits for me to uncover,a flash of lights that turn all the colourful lines of wall turn pitch white,closing my eyes with all the high intensity of light beam that struck upon.A new page is about to start,next thing I knew... I've travelled.