Giving what it takes in life and deal with it , it just like this..
Going round and came back to the starting point where you and i were never met, it seem likes an alternate mode of vision, vision of lies whisk lies that hide the facts and truth but only realization may shed light upon it..how much? how often? how? An answered once Socrates said " one thing only i know, and that is that i know nothing."
faith, trust, relationships, feelings are no longer the same, It is moving...Dynamic, i would say so. how it changes within minutes makes human itself a most interesting subject..unknown, full of different views, ways that we never observed often made us flabbergasted. It is confusing enough if we lost in this multitude of ideas generating massive works.
A massive work may mark a whole knowledge that ever existed. From the very beginning till the day we breath are ever increasing in this seeming countless minutes not before the minutes and second to come, new things were enlightened. This particular moment, even when we sleep, though may seen some dream, it is generating the story of dreams where we continue till we awake and vanish as we may even realized it yet new lights generates after the this lost of inquisition.
Road to travel to reach a place , a destination, is still far..I'm now tormented for it...much hopes were depend on conscience of being persistence..In the end how far I've reach? Infinity variables lies along the road, much to be judge is the view from others. Why they generates such impact in ones life as one may just ignore and head thee own way. In the abyss, lies a an unsecured side that overweight our balance and we didn't dare to take what it is ...therefore away for escape , join the crowd and left the pathway that blinded by mist and what we knew from the beginning.. Is that how it is?
A move of consequences forms effect that preserve as well as destruction. We just a mere creatures that has limited spatial existance that we ourself may knew or some may not knew. One interesting that enlighted me is that the diversification of experiences that people choose for themself. Some may just go through as a passer by, other seek oppurtunities at every stage of our sphere that we rooted in for now, while some reborn themself with might that came to challenge against the odd that come..for some reason, I am....retrieve with all the unknows that shattered by the edge, come to an end that conquering may be the answer i need to find but what "realm" shall i mastered it?
Covering unlimited ...
Separate by our naive thoughts ...
Burn by the star ...
Habour our lifes with master pieces ...
Extant of existance...
It still incomplete, somehow it feels like living...
Written it last August, right now I feel like posting it...
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Contradict My Own Paradox
*** CHAPTER ONE ***
Journey of Unrequited Feelings
Just like what had happened,it does hurt when looking someone you like and admired much left just like that and yet the the last word that were planned to be voiced trapped in heart..the last word that spoken was merely nothing but an encouragement that i doesn't wanted to hear..I'm in dilemma,no, it just doesn't seem right.My appearance at the place where just like crushing the gate or an uninvited guest to attend.A pathetic feeling arose within as i feel like alienated though i tried much closer and closer.My thoughts were asking me why sudden change in them,could it be the long holiday or the uncontact words that keep the relationship..yet,today i still ponder with a feeling of dilemma and sigh that i picked up yesterday.
My world and journey...I begin to wonder, a month ago, i started to think..lots of things came in my mind. I hardly interpret what was going on, as journey set itself once again in the institution..I still missed home..I feel i wanted to travel far and explore with all the world;fantasy perhaps that drives me to think this..yet not much that i prepared myself for that.I wanted to do it someday, maybe just dissappeared out of the normal routine scene to look for something that i hope will make me more of understanding in term of the things that I'm trying to look for..as I write this, a song I've listened goes like this"I've been walking in the same way, as i did.. Misssing out the cracks in the pavement..."----I don't know what to do----
I'm thirst of something I'm not sure.I wonder aimless but with hope that lights my way up.
I'm not confused or others where the rest mistakenly view me. I'm a mere traveller in their mind.How much I know and I care..I'm forseen to seek as i already knew the outcome of what they think.I waited long to sieze the day;how many hours that i already hold in my hand. I feel like holding bit pieces of time that i utter myself to skim through what I've done. Minutes of fragmentize particles that enclosed the time lights the way and therefore I move on.Another dimension started to open as new stories or part of a story were waiting for me to enter and explore.What lies next..walls of rainbow coloured lines the surrounding and the entity I'm were seemingly begin to show bits pieces of stuctures that I can't seem with naked eye..could this be.. an Atom!!
The next thing I knew;lots of particles that begin to spread,I feel nothing but the thrill..I'm too scared of what happend next.."you need to have persistance in your decision with confident, don't run away."As I lie down to bed..a friend who sit beside told me so...yes.I've remebered,I was planning to buy some books but I'm still puzzle..the uncertainty that hold everything crushing the every ideas that arose.Ahh..In the end, I did what i want.Later on we waited for bus..patient are needed, every cover of peole sitting in bench or standing were waiting for something. A destination they want and they take their chances of this time and went on waiting...I was again..dive in the time..not sure of what happened next.All I know, a story awaits for me to uncover,a flash of lights that turn all the colourful lines of wall turn pitch white,closing my eyes with all the high intensity of light beam that struck upon.A new page is about to start,next thing I knew... I've travelled.
Journey of Unrequited Feelings
Just like what had happened,it does hurt when looking someone you like and admired much left just like that and yet the the last word that were planned to be voiced trapped in heart..the last word that spoken was merely nothing but an encouragement that i doesn't wanted to hear..I'm in dilemma,no, it just doesn't seem right.My appearance at the place where just like crushing the gate or an uninvited guest to attend.A pathetic feeling arose within as i feel like alienated though i tried much closer and closer.My thoughts were asking me why sudden change in them,could it be the long holiday or the uncontact words that keep the relationship..yet,today i still ponder with a feeling of dilemma and sigh that i picked up yesterday.
My world and journey...I begin to wonder, a month ago, i started to think..lots of things came in my mind. I hardly interpret what was going on, as journey set itself once again in the institution..I still missed home..I feel i wanted to travel far and explore with all the world;fantasy perhaps that drives me to think this..yet not much that i prepared myself for that.I wanted to do it someday, maybe just dissappeared out of the normal routine scene to look for something that i hope will make me more of understanding in term of the things that I'm trying to look for..as I write this, a song I've listened goes like this"I've been walking in the same way, as i did.. Misssing out the cracks in the pavement..."----I don't know what to do----
I'm thirst of something I'm not sure.I wonder aimless but with hope that lights my way up.
I'm not confused or others where the rest mistakenly view me. I'm a mere traveller in their mind.How much I know and I care..I'm forseen to seek as i already knew the outcome of what they think.I waited long to sieze the day;how many hours that i already hold in my hand. I feel like holding bit pieces of time that i utter myself to skim through what I've done. Minutes of fragmentize particles that enclosed the time lights the way and therefore I move on.Another dimension started to open as new stories or part of a story were waiting for me to enter and explore.What lies next..walls of rainbow coloured lines the surrounding and the entity I'm were seemingly begin to show bits pieces of stuctures that I can't seem with naked eye..could this be.. an Atom!!
The next thing I knew;lots of particles that begin to spread,I feel nothing but the thrill..I'm too scared of what happend next.."you need to have persistance in your decision with confident, don't run away."As I lie down to bed..a friend who sit beside told me so...yes.I've remebered,I was planning to buy some books but I'm still puzzle..the uncertainty that hold everything crushing the every ideas that arose.Ahh..In the end, I did what i want.Later on we waited for bus..patient are needed, every cover of peole sitting in bench or standing were waiting for something. A destination they want and they take their chances of this time and went on waiting...I was again..dive in the time..not sure of what happened next.All I know, a story awaits for me to uncover,a flash of lights that turn all the colourful lines of wall turn pitch white,closing my eyes with all the high intensity of light beam that struck upon.A new page is about to start,next thing I knew... I've travelled.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
"Going On Now" by those they claimed..
"Without hesitation, just tell me the truth."
That's what i wanted to ask most of the people..For some reason, it seem to be hard. One thing occurred to me is that the state of being "Reality" - so called by everyone nowadays..So, screw it, your wrong. You're just so close and you gave everything up and now you are telling others to quit and follow you...once again i said Screw you.. Next, they claim the existance of two type of human, those that slave themself for richness and those who long for fame..they who claimed these for what i called to them :"your nothing but whose views are narrowed by richness and fame around you, your nothing but those you claimed themself, your are one of them."Stop mess your words around for those who are truly doing the things they wanna be..this is what i wanted to say..yet..it seems to be hard for me to voice these words.I'm not a courageous debater that able to free others from the theory of domino but for days and years as an observer, I've seen to much..too much that some day i may yell at those people, torn those people to pieces with all my might. I'm fearless..
Despite these, there were others that just had said "speak with all your strength, they want you! that's what happen in our world, do it before you sigh." Again, you are corrupting them to follow you..."stop your scheme" they have dreams they want to be.."hold your tongue.let them free..seize your word; Nay! you're not going to destroy all, I'll protect them.."
Once again, i hold all these to my thought, as i see the condition..I'm just fighting it to exist..soon it will vanished by the mist of word that spoken by "them".
How can i made it continue to survive in this challenging world..how firm will i hang on those..then,just a month ago, my instructor voice came with this"you need to be strong in this world"..i remembered discussing with him with the "being of real" things yet he stated even it is the condition, you need to be strong..that's what it is voiced out..He is a man of passion in his doings..all i can say that he is no doubt a man of passion that i look up, a respect and honour in his guidance. Surely, if you meet him, you too may say the same.
Of all these, I'm not sure whether it is clear or not for you all, readers..but that what's happening from my view, all the happenings around me that i now caught up with so far..I don't know how to end my topic today but this is so far as it goes..I'll end it with this:
"It's Life! that's what we all called it. we've got all what it takes to make our life alive.
So, to tell the truth, its nothing wrong in life, Its perspectives that changes all.
You are the viewer, You carve it out what you have.
That's your ultimate conclusion.Be proud of it!"
That's what i wanted to ask most of the people..For some reason, it seem to be hard. One thing occurred to me is that the state of being "Reality" - so called by everyone nowadays..So, screw it, your wrong. You're just so close and you gave everything up and now you are telling others to quit and follow you...once again i said Screw you.. Next, they claim the existance of two type of human, those that slave themself for richness and those who long for fame..they who claimed these for what i called to them :"your nothing but whose views are narrowed by richness and fame around you, your nothing but those you claimed themself, your are one of them."Stop mess your words around for those who are truly doing the things they wanna be..this is what i wanted to say..yet..it seems to be hard for me to voice these words.I'm not a courageous debater that able to free others from the theory of domino but for days and years as an observer, I've seen to much..too much that some day i may yell at those people, torn those people to pieces with all my might. I'm fearless..
Despite these, there were others that just had said "speak with all your strength, they want you! that's what happen in our world, do it before you sigh." Again, you are corrupting them to follow you..."stop your scheme" they have dreams they want to be.."hold your tongue.let them free..seize your word; Nay! you're not going to destroy all, I'll protect them.."
Once again, i hold all these to my thought, as i see the condition..I'm just fighting it to exist..soon it will vanished by the mist of word that spoken by "them".
How can i made it continue to survive in this challenging world..how firm will i hang on those..then,just a month ago, my instructor voice came with this"you need to be strong in this world"..i remembered discussing with him with the "being of real" things yet he stated even it is the condition, you need to be strong..that's what it is voiced out..He is a man of passion in his doings..all i can say that he is no doubt a man of passion that i look up, a respect and honour in his guidance. Surely, if you meet him, you too may say the same.
Of all these, I'm not sure whether it is clear or not for you all, readers..but that what's happening from my view, all the happenings around me that i now caught up with so far..I don't know how to end my topic today but this is so far as it goes..I'll end it with this:
"It's Life! that's what we all called it. we've got all what it takes to make our life alive.
So, to tell the truth, its nothing wrong in life, Its perspectives that changes all.
You are the viewer, You carve it out what you have.
That's your ultimate conclusion.Be proud of it!"
Friday, May 1, 2009
H4T31, I'm Still Believing..!
I don't know how everything is going to turn out to be..to say that everyone is still miss the old days we had or is just I'm the one who can't just let my past go-days with H4T31...full of memories that i felt that nothing could replace it..therefore closing all my doors for the new and unknowns,reculse from being to explore to others and tried to remind myself that H4T31 is still my treasure..Indeed it is,but how long can it last? Does every member of H4T31 still thinking each other?Or instead, it is stored in their past which they labelled it "Best Team Ever" or "Best memory togather" or "Best friends Ever" inside somewhere in their brain,though dump in somewhere inside the cerebrum then begin their new life in new place or in new environment or being left with no choice but to accept a new style or ways to develop further more of themself.. thus time pass by...with no sound nor movements of others..Its fading..
Is it ironic? No, Why? Nobody cares..everyone is changing day by day; by time, places, people, surroundings and others..there no more connections..eventhough we're still seeing each other, things will not be the same, it is not the way it is anymore...if one day when the time comes , as members of H4t31 meets again if they plan to, will it be the same ? Will we laugh like the way we did before, will we have the same manner we used to be? For that I'm unable to imagine..for i cannot bare to feel it..I don't want to lost of of them, am I going to face this or it will never come these day...somehow its resides as a question for fearing -Change-...that is all about ...it is where it all starts..For I going to change too,I not sure....even with the conditions now, I hardly even able to identify what is going on...my place, my surroundings, the people seems to be differents..am I the one who is trying to look different or I just want to retain what it is..any of the two answers is just going to reflect one thing..Selfish, i guess...I am, am I? I'm selfish for not caring the things around me anymore, the events,the people, the ways...Of all it had happened, I pay no heed... I'm resort to this way because some part of me still long for the days with H4T31, I can't let it go, therefore this is what happen ...reculsiveness or introvert, yet I'm not giving it a sigh, some part of me still place hope for H4T31 as my everthing, a memorable treasure..No,I'm not regret with being introvert or being different of everyone..I'm still have H4T31 even though with this tough conditions, I believe in them as I believe they still believe for one thing - H4T31, Best Team Ever - as well as the "one piece" as a trademark for all of us,never to be forgotten..never to be fade through the tide of time..This is what I'm holding..believing..
*************************************************************************************
There are time when we are all crying from the pain of aspiring something and crying from having nothing to aspire, I wonder ...which is more difficult..all I know..everyone is running desperately, aiming for some thing; they were strecthing their hand towards something which is invisible to the eye, even realized that it cannot to be reach, they still moving towards it..with all they had..and I wonder what was I doing...I want to move even futher, more faster than ever, concentrating on that...I want to aim what I want, I'm not lost because I'm confuse, or don't have purpose..It is because of ..all I realised till now and from the day it began,from the day i started to questioned, perhaps I found my answer.. no..It is my answer, there are no more perhaps but a clear and direct voice from my heart and thoughts:
"I don't want to prove anything,
I just want to do with passion."
* Till we all meet again some day*
From Yours Faithfully,
Lowei,
H4T31 KML 08/09
Members of Onee Company
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